", (After Jeremy Hardy has sung in a round of Pick up Song) "That wasn't even the same track. They put a uniform on, for a job like that, can you imagine doing that? Yours in haste, Mrs. Trellis, Dear Mr. Duggleby, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why does my typewriter always stick on the letter Y? I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue - Series 1, 2 : BBC Radio 4 - Archive 45 of the funniest 8 out of 10 Cats jokes Here are some of the funnyman's most hysterically glum jokes: "I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs - like custom officers. In which the teams introduce the guests arriving at a society ball, this time from the construction industry: Will you welcome please, Mr and Mrs Cotter-Tiling and their son, Terry, And from Ireland, Mr and Mrs ODoors and their son, Paddy, Mr and Mrs Antilers and their son Rufus, Mr and Mrs Loadabricks and their son Laurie, Mr and Mrs Duz-Merchants and their son, Bill. Well loved celebrities include Alan Bennett, and Barry Cryer used to know his milkman. Is there a farm shop?, My locals rough as anything. And the show is such a broadcasting institution that its half-century edition will be recorded at the Royal Albert Hall. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Quotes, Series 36 - 39 - ivorysky 41 of David Mitchells funniest jokes and quotes After the success of our 'not for broadcast' Theatre Tours in 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010 (all sell-outs), we're returning with a special fundraising edition of the show for the charity ENRYCH, whose stated aim is to enrich the lives of disabled adults. He really should use a stronger denture fixative if he's going to blow that hard. 25 of Rik Mayalls greatest quotes I'm Sorry, I [Still] Haven't a Clue - The Guardian The show is introduced as "The Antidote to Panel Games" and consists of a panel of four comedians, split into two teams and "given silly things to do" by a chairman. Wait a minute, there's a bit here I didn't read. Sometimes he would even read the stage directions. Here is a compilatio. Stephen Frys Countryside joke was first aired on 13 April 2002, not on 4 February 2010; and Lionel Blair didnt host Give Us a Clue, but was a team captain. I live next door to this 84-year-old woman, do you know, not once has she come round to see if Im all right. ", "Samantha has to nip out now to spend time with her new gentleman friend. Here, concluding our. Someone told me, says Garden, that the BBC has a vault of programmes to be played in the case of nuclear war and Clue is among them., So the last thing Britons ever hear may be ingenious innuendo about Piers Morgan or Samantha? They continue until the Chairman blows his horn. By
The programme is known for its ridiculous rounds and games, such as Mornington Crescent and Word Disassociation played completely for laughs by the panellists who, to the untrained eye, might appear at first to be playing for points. Each show is hosted in a particular town around the UK and includes an introduction with trivia-based-jokes about the host town. As BBC Radio 4 agrees not to tone down I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, . Samantha stories from Humphrey Lyttleton, V8 Register, MG Car Club n 11 April 1972 at 12.25pm, between a You and Yours discussion on Whats new in playground equipment and a World at One report on Labour party turmoil over the Common Market referendum, BBC. The client was so impressed, he threw in a mivvi and a choc ice as well. Tomorrow, it's going to drizzle. Yours faithfully, Mrs Trellis. And at the Naturistss Ball, please welcome, if you will: Mr and Mrs Gleebits and their son, Dan, From Poland, Mr and Mrs Vestov and their very keen daughter, Eva, The Right Honorable Mr Knott-Snowing and his lovely daughter, Gladys. New voices Pippa Evans is now a regular on the show. ISIHAC (@ISIHAClue) / Twitter Hosted by Humphrey Lyttelton, and originally played by Barry Cryer, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Willie Rushton, a range of guests have performed on the programme's panel since it began. . Arent they a bunch of bastards, all that finger up the arsehole, all day long. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - 50 And Not Out - British Comedy Guide I'm Sorry I Haven't a ClueThe Complete Lionel Blair (1993-2007) You must be kicking yourself. To order a copy for 15.99 (incl p&p) call 0843 382 0000. Certainly up there with "Ant looked on in horror as he went down with both hands on deck". There can be no greater compliment to the performance of a script than for the audience to fail to notice there is one. Suddenly, we had all these people people listening over the shows, says Naismith. Bliss. Clue (I'm Sorry I Haven't A) - Page 3 Digital Spy 23 of Outnumbereds funniest (and possibly unscripted) quotes) 27 of Sarah Millicans laugh out loud jokes Harry Hill, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Colin Sell, Humphrey Lyttelton, Jon Naismith, Graeme Garden and Barry Cryer in Oxford for a recording of Im Sorry I Havent a Clue in 2005. Some definitions from the Radio 4 Sorry I Haven't A Clue radio show : Abacus - Swedish swear word. ", "You know, I was interested to learn recently that Colin doesn't just play the piano, in fact I have a letter here that says he's recently become very handy on the sax and that's signed by the Haringey Council Waste Disposal Department. Another bumper collection of classic fun and games from the award-winning BBC Radio 4 comedy show. Just off to work now dear. A Madrigal was a kind of medieval lament bemoaning the state of the world and harking back to mythical golden age which never existed. Clued out former long-serving panellists Barry Cryer and Willie Rushton. I have no clue what you guys are talking about half the time, but I love the enthusiasm. Yes. The comedian Jeremy Hardy has died, aged 57, leaving behind a legacy of formidable wit and humour. Introduced as "the antidote to panel games", it consists of two teams of two comedians "given silly things to do" by a chairman. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is greatest radio comedy, says panel For his first 17 years as producer, says Naismith, he "was the only one to hear the show before it went out". The unfortunate demise of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, William Caxton invents the Printing Press, Sir Walter Raleigh presents tobacco and potatoes at the court of Elizabeth I, Oedipus Rex blinds himself after marrying his mother, Jocasta, Joseph and his Amazingly Technicolor Entrecote, It seems to me I've heard this song beef-, If you like it, you should have put an electronic tag on it, If you liked it, you should've put a wheelclamp on it, If you liked it, you should have put herring on it, Cheese Eaten Too Close To Bedtime On Elm Street, The Long Way Round, Avoiding The River Kwai, Bring Me Someone Who Knows Alfredo Garcia, Four Engagement Parties and a Bloke Who Doesn't Feel Very Well, Let's Hope Nobody Comes and Snatches These Bodies. ", "Samantha has to nip out now, as she is off to see a Scots trawlerman friend, whose vessel needs to go in for repairs. ", "Actually, we're all very excited for Colin, as he's been invited to play at a U-2 gigwhat great reunion dances those German submarine crews have. 30 of Michael McIntyres best jokes and funniest one-liners Fifty years on, Im Sorry I Havent a Clue is still in the same slot. He often said that the others on the show were professional comedians, so why would he, a trumpeter, try to compete? Now aged 103, Mr. Hinkler celebrated by repeating the event in October this yearand beat the train by seven and a half hours. ", "Oh wait a minute, I've goofed. She particularly enjoys a rewarding poke in the country section. 'Wait while someone comes on with piece of cardboard.'". She says he's looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van. 25 of the funniest ever Still Game quotes Iain Pattinson the man who wrote the gags for I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, recalls his razor-sharp wit, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, 2023 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. Biggins said that Lionel's Rod was outstanding but he easily had it licked", "The next round is called 'Cheddar Gorge' and it's just one of many parlour games inspired by English place names. The inspiration was always there to do something more quirky, more daring, more stupid and, occasionally, even more outrageously knob-gag-laden. But that was not long before he died [in 2021].. It all started with an iconic wartime show called 'It's That Man Again' or. Fegan also relays that the club has . So I think the BBC leaned on us. ", "Actually, Colin was telling us that he recently started on backing material with his new singer so if anyone needs some curtains run up", "Actually, listeners may be interested to hear that Colin doesn't only play the piano oh no. He just found certain things funny, and he shared them with people around him whom he hoped would also find them funny. ", "Musical accompaniment will be provided by Colin Sell, who tells me he's thinking of branching out into artist management. 50 of the funniest Father Ted quotes "Before I nip out with Samantha for a time honoured blow on the seafront.., "Samantha tells me it's time to let her whippet out., "While Samantha nips out to enjoy a mouthful of Jacob's, "So as Samantha heads off to the Highland games to admire the contestants in the caber competition, and perhaps have a go at tossing one or two herself", Samantha has to nip out now with her new gentleman friend. And yet it seems never to have occurred to many of his listeners that Humph actually had a script, even though he'd often point out during the broadcast that he was reading it for the first time. He had no future comedy career to worry about. Although Blair was heterosexual, his camp manner and balletic skills seeded a game of radio mime in which the punchlines alluded to gay sex. I feel like, in mythology, Neptune is just a copy of Poseidon Can you tell me where the expression 'Dull as Ditch Water' comes from? Jack Dee chairs the 77th series of the show. English Various radio episodes of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue from 1999-2004 with extra special programmes including " Humph Biography " and " Humphrey Lyttleton Tribute " which remembered the chairman of the programme after his death. Most centred around his assistant and scorer, the ever-delightful Samantha. As BBC Radio 4 agrees not to tone down Im Sorry I Havent a Clue, here are some of the show's smutty Samantha jokes over the past four decades. ISIHAC - Games Compendium - M Many featured the escapades of the show's fictional scorer, the lovely Samantha. I then think about the show I have to write: its form, its style, its performers. He lays ribbons of sticky wax paper on her thighs and then lets them dry. Because then you can say, if you think thats dirty, thats your mind not our words.. 100 best Christmas jokes and funniest festive season one-liners Do hope you havent embarked on another career. Jack Dee chairs the 76th series of the show. We note that although you will provide adequate chariot parking for visitors, the attractions proximity to the A344 and A303 junction is likely to cause severe traffic congestion. Humphrey Lyttelton: Today, everything on TV is celebrity-driven, of Perennial antidote to panel games. As BBC Radio 4 agrees not to tone down I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, here are some of the show's smutty Samantha jokes over the past four decades 25 of Peter Kays most ingenious jokes and one-liners Samantha has to nip off now as she's selling her seaside apartment. ", "Welcome to ISIHAC where fun and laughter get on like a mouse on fire. Apparently, they've been working on the restoration of an old chest of drawers. She says she doesn't mind looking up and seeing him hung like a baboon. While she's very keen on his kidneys in red wine and his oxtail in beer, Samantha says it's difficult to beat his famous tongue in cider." I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue Treasury - Audible.com But I think there was also a sense that, as Humph was saying this stuff, it couldnt possibly be as rude as it sounded because he was so respectable.. She doesn't know much about racing, but she's already seen something to admire in his jockeys. Or: " the title will be provided by the technical wizardry of the multi-pixelated laser display screen. 70. Samantha says he's keen to lay her up in the Orkneys", "Samantha has to nip out now to spend time with her new gentleman friend. Lazy cow hasnt even taken her milk in for a fortnight!, Try saying: Whale Oil Beef Hooked without sounding like an Irish man swearing., One of my friends went on a murder weekend now he is doing life for it., A sewage farm. Sometimes I wondered if producer Jon Naismith and I took too much advantage of his easygoing insouciance. From I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, 1995. . Garden says: He told Barry Cryer that he loved those jokes; he relished the publicity. 20:57 EDT 23 Sep 2012 "Samantha is off to see a chef gentleman friend who is renowned for his fine-quality offal dishes. 41 of Stewart Francis most ingenious jokes and one-liners During that dispute, the issue of low pay was also raised. Accusations of homophobia resulted from a running gag, straddling two centuries, about Lionel Blair, dancer and team captain of ITVs charades-based game show Give Us a Clue. In fact, he thought of the title for 'Alice in Wonderland' when he thought of Sunderland and changed the first letter. 1.7K views, 25 likes, 1 loves, 2 comments, 4 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Kimball Concert Association: Evil Lives Here 2023 S5E14 Pls Join Group :. ", "Some experts believe that it might take its title from a town in Ireland, which is generally associated with meaningless nonsense. Hardy rose to prominence in the 1980s, winning the. The gloriously groan-worthy gags from 40 years of Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-taylor, Jack Dee Et Al, As the Honourable Member is perfectly aware, I have nothing to hide, Censors were appalled by Carry On films and wanted to give many X rated certificates, new files reveal, What Sean Connery will do if he doesnt get to church on Sunday, Australian for a Englishman made of stone, Cross between a screw top and a ring pull, How they describe a decade in the West Country, A boat makers first attempt at a coracle, A person who turns into a house at the Full Moon, A setting on Jonathan Rosss washing machine. Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-taylor, Jack Dee Et Al
", "Canterbury today is an interesting mix of traditional and modern buildings, due to the large number of bombs dropped during the last war. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is a BBC radio comedy panel game. Missed ISIHAC on Monday so I only got to hear the latest Lionel Blair joke at lunchtime. . We are no longer accepting comments on this article. With Jeremy, the reason he was so bad was that he had never sung in public. ", "Close by is Wycombe Air Park. Hosted by Humphrey Lyttelton, and originally played by Barry Cryer, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Willie Rushton, a range of guests have performed on the programme's panel since it began. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue definitions - Tripadvisor But there was a later communication that his wife and family were upset and would the BBC calm us down a bit. Know what I like to do? "Dear Mr. Rees, I understand you're looking for suggestions for your 'Quote, Unquote' programme. BBC Radio 4 - I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Many come here and pay a few pounds to enjoy an uninterrupted 45 minute viewing of London and the Thames as they wait for their Connex train to finally crawl off Hungerford Bridge. Best Smart DNS for Spain. 25 of Dara Briains best jokes and funniest quotes It's her first day, so apparently she's going to give a speech in the back room and hand jobs out in the office. Caberet - wide range of taxis for hire. Yours, Mona Lisa. ", "We've asked Colin Sell to provide piano accompaniment. ", "Dear Mr Melly: Here's a great tip for removing any annoying little hairs that collect in the bath plughole: tempt them up with a carrot and pull them out by their long floppy ears. Quotations that certain celebrities would be most unlikely ever to say: Neil Kinnock To cut a long story short Jerry Springer Your private life is no concern of mine, David Attenborough No, pass me the BIG gun, John Humphrys No, no, please finish your point. Here are 10 of the funniest jokes written by kids 49 of Monty Pythons funniest jokes No radio show has aided that cause greater than I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, the much-loved panel show that Lyttelton (right) chaired until his death four years ago. 25 of the most cantankerous Martin Crane quotes from Frasier Are these jokes too smutty for Radio 4? One of the first women to, as the show might put it, hold her own was Jan Ravens. Beloved comedian and writer Barry Cryer has passed away at the age of 86. From the moment Humph took the two small envelopes containing the scripts printed on postcards, the words became his. ", "Musical accompaniment at the piano will be provided by Colin Sell. ", "Lewis Carroll started his journeys to China from Sunderland. To claim that Humph didn't know what he was doing on Clue is, of course, complete nonsense. Started by Jemble Fred, May 26, 2005, 02:52:40 PM. 26 of Stewart Lees most gloriously acerbic jokes Tweet us @TeleTweetures with your thoughts. Also, Samantha was usually the instigator of these alleged events she was never taken advantage of and also, finally, she didnt exist. The matter was eventually settled by alternating her duties with Sven, an equally libidinous male. They said yes, and threw him in the swimming pool. All rights reserved. However, it wasn't until 1993 that she started becoming the butt of increasingly risque jokes. It would have been more, but the chain kept falling off his bike. There was Colin & Garfunkel, Dave Dee Dozy Beaky Mick Titch & Colin, The Electric Light Piano, & perhaps most interestingly, The Jackson Six. Weve always tried to do the show, says Garden, as if there were quite a severe BBC censor still in existence and we were obliged to get in the dirty jokes through innuendo rather than saying the words directly. ", "Well, it's time to meet the teams and I can honestly say you couldn't ask for four better comedians. I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE - Page 3 The following are transcripts of those introductions.. Series 57, Episode 1. As to his not being a comedian: that is also untrue. It was eventually announced that the show's 73rd series in Autumn 2020 would consist of Tim's final two episodes (recorded shortly before the nationwide lockdown), followed by four remotely recorded episodes with the surviving regulars and a virtual audience (categorized by the BBC as Series 74). 12/04/20 - 13:16 #53. . And Barry Cryer, much to the relief of listeners, claims I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue won't be changed or supressed, and says the row over smutty jokes has died down. So me and Harry Hill wrote signs saying: Barry! and held them up. Barry and I worked together for 50 years on I'm Sorry I Havent A Clue, and our gleeful spin off You'll Have Had Your Tea with Hamish and Dougal. The late Humphrey Lyttelton once wrote: As we journey through life, discarding baggage along the way, we should keep an iron grip, to the very end, on the capacity for silliness. To Michelangelo, His Holiness wants the ceiling plain magnolia emulsion. Wordplay and innuendo are a large part of the show's humour. Let me introduce four of them. Still, it was during one of those famous comradely Cryer phone calls of which we have all heard so much that the roots of The Clue Bible, my first weighty slab, covering over 50 years of British comedy history, first found soil.Back in the mid-2000s, I was a veteran videogame journalist who in my spare time performed sketches in a double act, and tried to get my children's stories published. ", "Despite this only three expressions of Scottish derivation are in regular use: kilt, haggis, and Partick Thistle nil. 45 of Ricky Gervais funniest jokes Now That's What I Call One Song to the Tune of Another - Blogger Samantha is in charge of polishing, while he scrapes the varnish and wax off next to her. 'We're not your enemies!' Incidentally, we've just heard some great news - I'm very pleased to announce that the BBC have arranged a special collection of Colin's entire work they've bagged it up, & the council are sending some men round for it on Tuesday. ", "The sound effects were acquired for us from the BBC archives by the lovely Samantha. In 15 years, we never had a script meeting, nor even a quick discussion about a single word he was going to read. One of the series other crucial personnel is Colin Sell the resident pianist since being recruited as a student in 1975. Following the death of Humphrey Lyttelton in 2008, the show used regular guest panellists Stephen Fry, Jack Dee and Rob Brydon as guest presenters for the 51st series, before choosing Jack Dee as the permanent chairman the following series. . "Sorry I Haven't A Clue" Introduction Transcripts Humphrey Lyttelton was a born comedian - but even he had a script. ", "Samantha has to nip out now as she's got a new job working in the sound archive as the manager. He said she was delighted to see his little firm won. The joke's on me | Radio | The Guardian Did anyone say Mornington Crescent? I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is a BBC radio comedy panel game. Desperately sad news to hear that Tim Brooke Taylor died today from coronavirus - he was 79. Yes never mind all that, Sir, blow into this please, Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?. ", [Lyttelton discusses the "eleven jokes in the world"; i.e., the 11 types of humour.]. Rounds included team members being required to sing Three Blind Mice to the tune of Old Man River; other challenges included improvising rhyming lines. Samantha first appeared on 18 May 1985. Let's move on. Jeremy Hardy: remembering the comedian's funniest jokes and quotes Moment commuter blasts eco-zealots, Moment bull suffers catastrophic injuries after leaping from bridge, Russian freight train derails and bursts into flames after explosion, Royal superfans camping on The Mall ahead of King's Coronation, Historic chairs to be reused by the King for the coronation service, Women's rights activists and pro-trans campaigners separated, Saboteurs wreck Russian train cut power cables 37mi from Ukraine, Cambridge students party in the park during annual celebrations, Devastating tornado picks up car and hurls it through air in Florida, Student kicked out of school for 'there are only two genders' t-shirt, Unseen footage of Meghan Markle during her teenage years, Hundreds of Household Division members rehearse for coronation. 39 of the greatest Brass Eye and Day Today quotes 25 of Charlie Brookers most cutting jokes and insults For his first 17 years as producer, says Naismith, he was the only one to hear the show before it went out. ", "Samantha was telling us before the show she's been visiting a nice gentleman racehorse owner in his stables recently. 41 of the funniest quotes from The Good Place about life and death All episodes of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. In fact, I don't think anyone ever did complain. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (BBC Radio 4, 11 April 1972 - ) is a British radio comedy programme which describes itself as "the antidote to panel games ". Thanks for that nugget . "Dear Rolf, Here's a handy hint: When you put the cat out, always use a high-quality fire extinguisher.". She's going to meet him at the monkey house, where he's often found swinging about with his charges. 2 days until dreams become reality. Here, concluding our series to mark the programmes 40th anniversary, are more of its most gloriously groan-worthy moments. This is the game where the team are presented with the first half of memorable quotations to finish off: Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe. #5. Save. To calm things down, she had to keep them apart all morning." I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Box Set Of 6 CD's Used | eBay Clued up Im Sorry I Havent a Clue historic innuendo star Stephen Fry, chair Jack Dee and late-lamented regular Victoria Wood.